Adjusting to Constantly Adjusting

So...this week has been very emotional...very sad...some happy moments, but there is this dark cloud above us. My mom has been feeling worse this week...the medication isn't working that well. The thing with Parkinson's is that you are constantly taking medicine...I have to help her space out the times she takes stuff so that her body will be able to handle it. The problem is that when she is in a lot of stress, she wants to do anything she can to stop it....take more medicine...and I have to tell her NO. That part is so hard....not hard for me to say...I will never let her take too much. But when you see her face....the pain she is's as if I am denying her peace and comfort. I have to constantly lie to her....tell her that if she waits 20 minutes, she can take a pill. Then after 20 minutes pass, I I was have to wait 10 more minutes. She knows what I'm doing.... I have to help her out a lot more around the house. She does nothing except sit on the couch...tries to get up to go walk around the house when her leg muscles are tense and then goes back and sits. I have to help her get up and sit down cause her headaches are bad and we don't want her to fall. I am home now cause of sister is only home on thursdays and dad is at work everyday. I take care of her. Yesterday I went to downtown LA with a friend of mine.... I made her breakfast and we were eating. Ten minutes before my friend came, her pains started again...I had to help her out of her chair and take her to the couch. I poured some water for her and gave her one of her pills. I got a heat pack and placed it by her. At the same time I was trying to get ready and I was feeling so stressed. "Lorik......Lorik.....Please come help me....I can't get up.....Lorik...."   She kept saying that and I told her I would be right there. My friend knocks on my door....and I panic because I can't leave yet...and I can't open the door cause they will see her like that. So now I'm getting even more stressed.She tells me that I should go...and I tell her I can't leave her like this. I try calling my dad, but he is working on a patient. I text my friend and tell her to please wait in her car cause I'm helping my mom out.

Eventually I leave....but I didn't enjoy myself at all. Knowing my mom probably never was able to get off the couch to do something. I kept calling her when I worried. My dad called me back a few hours later and I told him I was worried. He said he was on his way home for his break.

When I came home, my sister and dad weren't home. My mom was asleep on the couch. I tip toed too my room to not wake her up. She rarely gets any sleep nowadays. She is up all night walking around the house cause of the any chance that she has to sleep is very important.

She is getting worse and worse everyday...and we keep on changing our ways. She take a lot of medication...which scares me...

ehh i dunno