A bit of sad news

So...on top of all that in my previous post....it was confirmed that my mom does in fact have Parkinson's. It was bittersweet when we found out...we were happy that it was not anything worse...but then...this is not easy to swallow either. My mom is in half denial...not really denial..but she forgets and the remembers again and becomes either really quiet or becomes super hyper and tries to do everything at once. It is really hard for me right now because I have lived in this unstable situation since I was 16 and now...you realize that ..yeah..you have been living like this and you will be living like this till she is gone....and that is really hard to accept.  I love my mom. I also get really pissed at her cause of how she acts sometimes, but then I remember that it's not her....it's the drugs and her emotions. I feel really alone sometimes because I don't have anyone to tell this too. This semester has been really hard for me cause for the first time I broke. I have never cried so much in my life that I have these few months. I guess...me getting sick just made it worse because I wanted to end this semester well...and now I have been denied that as well. I know things will get better....but it really doesn't seem that way. It really really doesn't.