I have lost track of the days

I have been sick and I still am sick. That is why I have not posted anything in a while. I got sick around two weeks ago. We thought I had gotten the flu or a simple cold, but that was not it. I woke up one day with this pain in my neck, as if I had pulled a muscle. It only hurt when I tried to get up from lying down since you use your neck muscles to do so. I told my dad and he lectured me with his usual "you have to take care of your body...how many times do I have to tell you to stretch??" I always stretch. ALWAYS. Anyway. The day went on and I did not feel sick at all. I went to school, did my homework, came home went on some errands and I started feeling weird. I told my dad I wasn't feeling sick but I wasn't feeling well either....really really tired and weird. He told me to take it easy and that he'll make me soup. Later on I was sitting in the living room with all my studio stuff spread out on the table while I was trying to fix my stupid computer since it had gotten a virus. I was really frustrated and stressed out because in a week, I would have to present my studio final project. When your computer fails you....it just sucks. I was slowly feeling worse and worse and for some reason, I happened to touch the left side of my neck and I felt a bump. I went to my dad and he check it out...asked me how I felt I said I felt okay nothing unusual. He made a few phone calls and told me to dress warm. It was near midnight. I ask him "where are we going?" he says you'll see.

OKAY...so there is this old Armenian woman from Iran that lives here now. I don't know how to explain or describe her...she is like a medicine woman. I had heard of her before. When my 27 year old cousin was 6, he had gotten really really sick. He had a really bad fever that would never go down. They gave him medicine and took him to the hospital, but he never got better. Having no other choice, they called this woman. She felt his neck and blew into his mouth and a piece of food came out! He instantly felt better. I would always make fun of him....it's like this joke in my family. Whenever someone says that they have food stuck in their throat we say "ohh we should call her!!".

So we get out of the car to this strange apartment building. Someone in the building is playing the piano and it sounds so nice. We find her door and knock. She opens the door and tell us to sit. My dad explains to her what was wrong and she starts feeling my neck. It hurt really bad and I had to hold my dad's hand. She says I have food stuck in my throat and she does that blowing thing.....I have no idea how to explain it...it was not like she blew in my mouth...she blew on my face and something came out, but I didn't feel anything. My dad was laughing at me during the car ride home saying that he should have brought the camcorder. I was just happy that I was gonna get better. She told me to drink tea with honey and not eat anything for a few days so nothing would get stuck. She also said that the swelling would go down.

The next day I was doing homework, but I kept on getting a really bad headache. The swelling had not gone down. I was hungry, but I had no appetite. That night I had a really high fever. I was trying to finish my part for a project that was due the next day before going to bed. I finished a little past 2 am and then went to bed. The next day I had overslept. My mom woke me up. I said I had to go to school and she said I had a fever. I stayed in bed that whole day.  The following day I had a high fever for 8 hours. My mom tried to feed me but I did not have an appetite. My dad made me tea.

The next day I was feeling really weak and I started to freak out. I was missing school....My final is in less than a week and I am in my bed crying. My friend came over that night with orange juice. I told him he should have stayed home cause I don't know what is wrong with me and the last thing I want is for him to get sick too. He said he didn't care and that he just wanted to keep me company. I really needed it. He left at around midnight.

The next day I still had a fever. I had not eaten any food. My dad made me oatmeal which I threw up a  few hours later. I drank some orange juice. My hands are always super cold and I hate it because I feel awkward shaking people's hands cause they'll think I'm weird. For the first time I was thankful cause my headaches were so bad...I would cover my eyes with my hands and I would feel better. I asked a close friend of mine who also comes to my school if he could go and talk to my instructor cause I was feeling desperate about missing school. He would text me regularly and tell me how everything was. He really helped me out...talking to me..calming me down and saying that I got sick from stress. I wouldn't have been surprised if he was right.

The following day my dad came home during his break to take me to my doctor. The doctor is really nice and funny. He talked to me about school for 15 minutes before checking me. He checked my fever and said it was not too bad but he was worried cause I had had it for a few hours and it wasn't going down. He told me I had lost weight. He looked at my neck and then checked my gall bladder and stomach...asked me if I had pain there. Asked if I had a sore throat...which I did not...I just had a hard time swallowing. After he checked me out he asked me if I had kissed anyone. I was like "Hm?? Kissed anyone? Why?" and he started laughing. "Am I making you feel uncomfortable in front of your dad?" I laughed and said no. He said that I might have mononucleosis and it is something that people my age get when they are in college. I told him that I don't dorm and that I am home most of the time. He felt bad cause he thought he had embarrassed me......I was laughing at him but then my head started to hurt so I stopped. He said that he would be happy if I took a blood test so we could be sure what was wrong with me. He knows that I am scared of needles....he was trying to talk me into accepting it. He didn't need to because I was so sick of these fevers...I have had to change my shirt ever hour...I would be drenched in sweat....I couldn't stand it anymore. He asked me if I had taken anything....I told him my parents had given me amoxicillin and dayquil/nyquil for my fevers. He prescribed me a strong antibiotic with a really really weird name. I would only have to take it for five days.

We went downstairs to take the blood test. I was really nervous but I was also determined to get better so I didn't say anything. The woman working there was really nice. She quickly figured out I was feeling uncomfortable. She said "are you scared? I nodded at her and told he that I have not had good experiences. She told me not to worry. I always ask to hold my dad's or mom's hand...whoever is available during these situations...but the chairs were so weird that my dad I couldn't have stretched that far to hold my dad's hand. I also didn't want to seem stupid....crying for my dad just cause of a blood test. But in all seriousness, I am really scared of needles. It went really well though. She instantly found a vein...which NOBODY HAS EVER DONE. I get out of the doctors office looking like a heroin addict every time because they poke me six times in each arm until they find a vein. By the time that happens I am crying and crying and the doctor has to calm me down while the blood is flowing out of arm. This time...there was pain, but it was normal....she was efficient...she wasn't nervous....it was just normal. She put a bandaid on my arm and asked me how it went. I told her it was my best experience so far.

We went home and my fever got worse. My dad made me oatmeal and told me to eat it and then went to work. I didn't eat it. I just went to sleep. I woke up five hours later. It was late and my fever had gone down. I ate some soup that my mom had made. My dad turned on my tv and we watched America's Funniest home videos together. I fell asleep during the show. I woke up around 1 am. My shirt was completely wet. I changed it myself. I don't like to bother people when I have problems. I can solve my own problems. I felt like I could take care of myself. My mom is sick herself and she was having a hard time taking care of me. I know she felt bad because sometimes I would call for her, but she wouldn't be able to come and help me because she couldn't move. It didn't take me long before I stopped calling for her. I know she knew why I stopped calling...and I know she is sad...but this is our situation. You can't be too sad about it otherwise you will get really sad and then it's hard to become happy again. I watched a lot of tv....the office....it's a great show to watch when you are feeling down because it is funny. I love all the characters...well..almost all. I watched Aladdin...my favorite Disney movie. I love the Swedish version...the English version is so weird to me...ughh. I have stared at my ceiling a lot...   My friend has visited me regularly....he is really kind to me. Every other day he would come after work and visit me. He brought me his xbox to play. I told him I was too weak to sit up and play. He said that it's okay..that soon I'll get better and then I'll play. The day he brought it, my dad wanted to play....he thought it was a Wii. My dad likes airplane games...where you fly airplanes...or like WWI games.... my friend had brought Assassin's Creed, Banjo-Kazooie, Devil May Cry, Prince of Persia, Fall Out 3, and Bioshock 2. He hated all of them..haha. He tried playing Fall Out but he didn't know the controls so he kept getting shot at. My fever was really high when he was playing and I was getting frustrated...at the same time, my mom kept going in and out of my room yelling at us saying that we were stupid for playing this (My mom is scared of stuff like that...violence and weird things). She kept saying that the game was gonna make me feel worse and I would not get better...I told her to stop being ridiculous. My dad was obviously getting frustrated with the game cause he had been killed five times already. He asked me if I didn't have better games....like and airplane game or Mario. I gave him my Nintendo DS and he started playing Brain Age. He loveeeees the DS. LOVES IT. Later on my parents went to the chiropractor and I attempted to play Assassin's Creed. I played for 40 minutes..then my fever went up. I haven't played anything since then. I feel guilty too...cause of school. If I have energy to play, then I should have energy to build models and sit in front of the computer drawing the project. Well, I did not.

The final for our project was two days ago. I feel really weird at the moment. I feel really empty. It sucks when you are in bed and the rest of the world is doing what they are supposed to do. I did not want my semester to end like this...on this note. You work so hard for so long...you want a good ending..like you accomplished something. Everyone is done with studio...now they can focus on their other finals and then they are done. I have to contact my other instructors about the week and a half that I have missed. Then I have to finish my studio models.

The doctor called yesterday and said that I do not have mono. I just have a virus infection. The antibiotics I took were not necessary. All I have to do is drink a lot of fluids and rest. He said he is still waiting for the rest of my blood test to see if I am deficient in anything. Since my doctors visit...the right side of my neck has swollen and then back of my neck/head. These are all lymph nodes that are infected. That is why I have these fevers......hopefully I will be fine soon. I am really tired of being at home and falling behind and feeling like a complete loser. I miss being in control of my body. The doctor said it might take a few months till I become completely normal again. The lymph nodes are not letting me swallow..it hurts. Other than that I am okay...physically. I just get weak. My mom took me to starbucks today so that I couldn get out of the house after two weeks. I started breathing really fast and got a fever while ordering hot chocolate...we went back home. I know I am getting better because the fevers are not as consistent and I can sit up for longer.

Ehh....such a long post and I have not read through it to see if it makes sense. I have only talked to one of my friends in two weeks....I feel really lonely so I had a lot to say. Friends are so important....I wish I had more friends like him.

My head started hurting a few minutes ago, so I am gonna finish the post. I hope you guys are doing well. Take care of yourselves <3 Hopefully I will be feeling really well when I post again~

EDIT. OMG I am so sorry. I just saw how long this thing is....so sorry!